Various verbal communications such as cuss words, derogatory remarks, etc. can all create short term desired effects in the speaker, but, while not creating physical harm, can tend to have negative influences on frame of mind, attitudes, etc. on people who speak and hear them. We can develop resilience against being negatively influenced, while modeling to ourselves and others attitudes/approaches of responding to things in a better way than making reference to feces and other out-of-place references.
Please consider if you cussing might influence you and/or others in the direction of some of the following
A less thoughtful approach in yourself and others.
A less positive respectful atmosphere.
Yourself and others moving away from approaches (including communication approaches) that would be more helpful for moving towards better big-picture/long-run outcomes.
Tending in some cases to gradually establish in yourself – and influence in others – one or more of the following:
Giving in to (and therefore increasing the habit/attitude of) a desire to intimidate/frighten/hurt/shut-down/etc. the other person/people to get a short-run narrow win/etc. (and/or gain a desired feeling), relying less on working to resolve the issue based on the ethics/love/reason/etc. of yourself and the other person/people.
Habits/attitudes of having less regard for a positive respectful environment.
More agitated attitudes by reinforcing an impulse of agitation – while also influencing more agitated attitudes in other people.
Doing something you feel is less than the best in order to be perceived a certain way (or to avoid being perceived a certain way) or to fit in with a group. For you (at least in your current situations) cussing might be sufficient. For other people you set an example for, in their environment occasional cussing isn’t anywhere close to enough to meet the same goal; they need to take street drugs, etc. to meet the goal of how they want to be perceived (avoid being perceived) and to fit in / feel connection with others in the group.
When wonderful people you know and admire do something you feel you shouldn’t do, telling yourself it’s OK to make it easier to do the same and avoid possible discomfort from not doing the same.
Using those types of methods to get people’s attention / communicate your level of agitation / etc., distracting from more helpful communication. (Various levels of misguided attempts to get people’s attention / communicate one’s agitation level / etc. could be partly involved with a wide range of harmful behavior.)
Giving up on trying to live the best you can.
Influencing increased disrespect in society such as by influencing more agitated attitudes and habits of dealing with things you don't like by being disrespectful, making problems more difficult to resolve.
Why you might “feel better” after cussing – and things you might consider in relation to those
By reinforcing/magnifying anger and/or fear of some type (perhaps that the undesired situation will hurt you or that you won't be able to respond well to it), possibly prompting a level of “fight or flight” type physical responses such as reduced short-run pain sensitivity.
Learning to manage/respond well to undesired situations without prompting “fight or flight” type physical responses could be more helpful for supporting positive attitudes, reducing stress in the long run, and better long-run outcomes. See below under
Following an impulse to cuss is easy, avoiding the challenge of not following an impulse.
Giving in to an impulse to cuss reinforces the impulse to cuss and more generally the general attitude/behavior impulse related to it. The long run matters more and not following an impulse to cuss could help develop the skills/attitudes for not following other impulses.
Feeling that you have communicated.
Consider that a helpful alternative to not communicating concerns is communicating concerns in a way that is more likely to lead to better big-picture long-run outcomes than the communication type that includes cussing. It can take a type of calm peaceful effort, but can be helpful to improve at.
Possibly in some cases it could facilitate a tiny momentary superficial thrill type feeling (or other desired feeling) related to showing contempt, being disrespectful, etc.
This could develop a habit/pattern of getting such a feeling from showing contempt/being disrespectful and the attitudes/approach related to it – influencing towards more of that type of behavior and attitudes.
It avoids the discomfort of breaking a habit.
There are benefits of breaking a cussing habit. Also, the process of working to improve with accepting the discomfort of breaking a habit can be beneficial.
It might distract from an uncomfortable analysis of the situation. For example, if someone is driving badly, cussing focusing on how bad the other driver was driving and how much of a lousy driver (and probably lousy person) they are might in the short run be more comfortable than something like, “Sometimes I drive badly because I’m not paying attention or in too big of a hurry; it sure is disrespectful/dangerous; I need to drive carefully.”
The uncomfortable analysis the cussing can distract from could be helpful.
It can give you a feeling of being free from being ruled by a no cussing rule for yourself and/or by the standards that lead to it.
This can be dangerous and we are all ruled by something; we choose what we are ruled by. Being ruled by an impulse is being ruled. Being ruled by a desire to feel not ruled by a no cussing rule for yourself and/or by the standards that lead to it is being ruled. There might be some analogy to a teenager smoking with an attitude of being free to smoke not being ruled by living healthy, prudence, etc. with the irony that in so doing they begin to be ruled by a desire for nicotine.
Feelings related to your environment and attitudes (such as “fitting in” with a group, viewing cussing as an adult activity, etc.)
Cussing doesn’t make you an adult and doing things you don’t really feel you should do in order to fit in can be a harmful habit to start. (Besides, in many cases, cussing might not actually make you fit in with the group even if it seems like it would, compared to being true to your values with a genuine respect for others. You can also be at peace with not having to fit in with the group, especially at all times in every way.)
Feeling that you have shown people who cuss that you don’t think negatively of them as you also cuss.
Trying to show people that you don’t think negatively of them by doing what they do even though you have misgivings about it could be a distraction from and less effective than working on attitudes and behavior of more genuinely having positive regard for others and of that not being dependent on agreeing with everything they do. It also doesn’t necessarily show that you don’t think negatively of them as it is possible for people to think negatively of themselves. Also, doing what you have misgivings about in an attempt to show that you don’t think negatively of people who do those things could influence the same with other things.
Note: “Releasing stress” is a figure of speech. It might often represent feeling better in ways in the short run upon acting on some impulses, regardless of long-run effects.
Reducing the harmful effects of cussing When hearing cussing, responding in a way that
Maintains a positive frame of mind, outlook, emotional state, etc. You might consider avoiding focusing at all on the cussing itself or on the person who cussed, limiting your consideration to how to respond (addressing it if you deem that to be the best option for the situation, making a matter-of-fact (not agitated) mental note that it could be an issue for business/customer encounters if that fits the situation, very quickly moving on mentally if that seems the best option, etc.)
Doesn't create association of cussing with intense emotion, which could possibly influence more cussing. Consider risk of this from yelling at a child who cussed. You might consider if communicating calm concern would be more helpful.
Doesn't reward people who get some type/level of satisfaction from your emotional reaction.
Doesn't encourage people to cuss who are encouraged to cuss by your laugh (you might consider a neutral expression for many situations).
Maintains a recognition that it isn't the best option. This can help you avoid adopting attitudes that can be related to it.
To break/change the habit of cussing it might help to consider your goals related to the matter, and then in the moment when conflicting goals arise, work to change your goals in the moment. Suggestions for some types of situations:
If agitated, immediately upon the situation happening work to change your goal from the easiest quickest way to offset an undesired feeling to a goal of improving at (with practice) immediately changing your thinking/focus to the best attitudes/approach for dealing with the situation well, perhaps immediately reminding yourself that you have the ability to respond well to the situation (even if you can’t get the outcomes you and everyone else wants). While this approach takes a type of calm peaceful effort, it can reduce stress and help improve long-run outcomes in various matters of different sizes and types. (Also, you might consider that while there are clearly worse options than cussing, pretending that the only alternative to a bad habit is something worse isn’t accurate or helpful.)
In social situations, change your goal from fitting in, etc. to a goal of developing positive respectful resiliency, more comfort with living in accordance with your values, and a genuinely positive regard for others not dependent on agreeing with everything they do.
In speaking, work on changing your goal from the easiest way to get attention, etc. (such as making references to feces) regardless of other influences your cussing might have, to communicating in ways that don’t have the negative influences of using cuss words.
Also, allowing yourself to be at peace with the habit breaking/changing process.
To help children avoid cussing (and the attitudes it can influence),
you might address such word use in a way that
Helps promote a recognition that it’s not OK (for anyone of any age – it doesn’t become OK as people get older, like smoking doesn’t become OK as people get older, we just put more effort into helping younger people so we’re more likely to address it to them).
Helps promote the distinction, applicable to other situations as well, between people and things they do that they shouldn’t do, such as between people who smoke and smoking, between themselves and bad choices they make.
Avoids creating/re-enforcing an association of cussing with intense emotion, which could possibly influence more cussing. Consider risk of this from yelling at a child who cussed. You might consider if communicating calm concern would be more helpful.
Additional assistance
For additional assistance for an adult, you could pay a dollar to whoever catches you first (if you have kids at home, your kids might eagerly help), and for younger people, depending on age and situation, possibly a quick reminder/respectful request, no talking for one minute, sitting out, an allowance deduction, confiscated cell phone for x minutes, etc.
Suggested citations for various style systems
Suggested citations for various style systems
MLA
“Effects of Cussing.” Effects of Cussing.com, effectsofcussing.com. Accessed .
APA Effects of Cussing. (n.d.). Effects of Cussing.com. Retrieved , from https://effectsofcussing.com
Chicago
Effects of Cussing.com. “Effects of Cussing.” Accessed . https://effectsofcussing.com